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Tamar Braxton Talks Marriage, Abusive Relationship & Staying Positive

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While promoting her latest album, Love and War, Tamar Braxton gave a candid interview with NecoleBitchie.com, where 30 lucky fans were able ask her everything from relationship advice to how she coaxed her husband, Vincent Herbert, to take their relationship to the next level.

In an effort to reach wife status, the outspoken singer recalls giving Vince an ultimatum. “Well, we were together for four and a half years before we got engaged…I loved Vince and I knew I wanted to be with him but I knew that after a certain point it was time for us to move on to [another] level,” she says. “It was like July and I was like, ‘Look boo, you got until December 31st at 12 o’ clock to propose to me because I feel like you should already know if you want to be with me like that.'”

However, before she was enjoying wedded bliss, Tamar admits she struggled with her self-esteem following an abusive relationship, prior to Vince. Tamar explains how that painful experience led her to develop her over-the-top personality.

“The reason why you see a lot of confidence is because I didn’t have any. I used to allow people to take that away from me and the only thing that worked for me is to act as if I thought I was fabulous, and I didn’t think I was fabulous,” she spilled. “I refused to let that person have that over me and that lie became my truth.  I’ve always had a big personality, but it’s bigger to you all now because I kind of have to play it up because that side still lives there.  But I refuse to let that show because that would mean that he won, and I won because I’m still here.”

Throughout it all, she’s been able remain positive and stay focused on attaining the music career she wants, even after being dropped by four record labels before signing with Epic Records.

“Don’t let anybody talk you out of your goals and dreams,” she warns. “I’ve heard ‘no’ more than I’ve heard ‘yes’ and I was determined.  The only person that can stop you, is you.  If you’re alive and above ground, God has put you here for that reason, so don’t stop, period.”

Tamar‘s Love and War, which she’s previously described as a relationship album, is currently in stores now.

Copyright 2013 ABC News Radio


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